Reading Time: 12 minutesTales from a Tacky Travel Log What child that grew up with Lisa Frank on every binder doesn’t dream of seeing a sea turtle in the wild? Especially a kid that only had Jacques Cousteau documentaries on VHS when she stayed at her grandma’s farm. Whatever your sea turtle wanna-see memories may be, there are a handful of places around the world where, if you go at a specific time of year, sightings are almost guaranteed. Tortuguero, …
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Reading Time: 9 minutesWhen I was around 12 or 13 years old, my mom had a stalker. Maybe this is implied in “stalker”, but this guy was a real piece of work. My mom was fresh out of an ugly divorce because my dad decided it might be kind of cool to move in with a female coworker. “Why would my wife and kids mind? C’est la vie, man. We can all still get along.” So, mom turned to church …
Reading Time: 11 minutes“Who is going trick-or-treating today?”, Sister Wilma asked. She looked up over her round, wire-rimmed glasses, short hair done in a perm. My hand shot up on the fifth syllable. It was all I could think about. She didn’t turn to look at any of us in particular with our hands held high, waving our arms enthusiastically (granted, there were probably only four of us in that Sunday school lesson. It was a small church in a …
Reading Time: 4 minutes*Everyone’s name has been changed because I sure ain’t asking permission to talk about them online It’s always been a treat taking the people in my life who don’t know my extended family, to meet my extended family. Matt, my college boyfriend, got to meet them for the first time one 4th of July. I don’t think there is any level of appropriate preparation aside from one of those secret briefing manila folders the government gives out …
Reading Time: 3 minutes*I changed my aunt’s name to protect her pristine reputation When I was a kid, my aunt was on the Jerry Springer Show for a lesbian love triangle. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, spoiler alert! If you ask her about it she’ll say, “They flew us to Chicago, gave us 200 bucks and a script, and I only had to kiss a girl.” It was her friend. I suppose my uncle was ok with it. …
Reading Time: 3 minutes*Names changed for those I gossip about because that shit is embarrassing One of the great mysteries of being from a small, mid-west town: There were only 60 people in my graduating class but the number of classmates whose mugshots appear on the local evening news is infinite. When my mother sees my high school classmates’ mugshots on the tristate news—KFVS12, live, local, late-breaking!—she will thoughtfully record the clip on her cell phone. Then she sends me …
Reading Time: 4 minutesCape Girardeau, Missouri, colloquially known as “Cape”, was populated for probably more than 12,000 years. But not surprisingly, it is named after a French trader who set up shop a measly 289 years ago. Cape is a college town that sits on the banks of the Mississippi River. Historic, downtown Cape Girardeau is lined with quaint restaurants, antique shops, and popular bars. Downtown Cape is undoubtedly the ‘it’ spot in an area void of ‘it’ spots. It …
Reading Time: 3 minutesI was riding my bicycle home and was going downhill. My mind was wandering. It was dusk and as I picked up speed, bugs were slapping me in the face. I pursed my lips tight to keep them from getting in my mouth and I was reminded of my great-aunt Lovetta. I only met her once. I think she was my grandpa’s baby sister. It was the act of consciously trying to avoid swallowing a bug, that …
